Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Anniversary

At the request of some (OK, ahem, 1 in particular), I am writing my yearly post (think of it as my Anniversary Special). I cringe calling this a blog, because it doesn't feel that official. It's more of a place to store little journal entries, thoughts, musings, and word vomit that would otherwise be stuck in my head. But I suppose that's what it is, and I apologize in advance for the next 6 minutes you will spend humoring me.


Having delayed this for a year is probably one of the reasons why it wasn't until noon today that I realized my blouse was on inside out. Oops.


If you'll remember, my 24th year started not so much with a bang and not quite a whimper. It was more of a timid manifesto to take a proactive interest in my own outcome. I wrote a list of 24 things I wanted to do with the year ahead. And I'm proud to say I've done some of them; and still a bit bummed that most of them, I did not (I'm still shocked I was going to church regularly for about 6 weeks...yes, that was a thing).

A younger me would be embarrassed about not accomplishing all on my list (what is it about lists that are so gratifying...and then obnoxious when you forget them at home?!). But an older me is relieved. I'm relieved that life happened, came and went, and disrupted most of my plans. In fact, I ended up doing a whole lot more than I expected, and in a completely different tangent. So in honor of that, in 24 succinct bullet points, here are all of the things I did, most of which I didn't expect at all:


1. We should start with the beginning: I finally got the courage to plan my own birthday event, for which so many wonderful ladies enjoyed dinner with me. It was so humbling, and so fun; I couldn't imagine a better way to begin a new year.
2. I didn't grow out my hair. In fact, I chopped it all of. World, meet pixie-haired Alexis. Momma like.
3. I made an apology that was very long overdue. The outcome was mediocre, but man was it cathartic. I highly recommend it.
4. I said 'Goodbye' to a lot of people. Others, I just said 'See you later.' Knowing who was in, and who was out, may have made the inner circle smaller but definitely stronger.
5. Someone very close to me with whom I have grown a part finally said the things I had been wanting them to say. It was a long time coming. It's good to be reminded that there are some people whom you will love forever, just in very different ways. 
6. I moved. Home. To Des Moines. I still ask myself, "What was I thinking?! And why didn't I do it sooner?!"
7. I lost a job, then I got a new one, and in the process, I learned a whole bunch about finding the right fit when it comes to a job and a career. Hindsight is 20/20, but that unplanned job search ended up being one of the best things that ever happened to me.
8. I saw one best friend get married. And another have a baby. I love watching families grow.
9. I got a bike. 
10. Then I bought a car. All by myself (with a little lot of moral support from my dad).
11. Probably one of the more momentous occasions of the year was moving in with my boyfriend (whom I also happened to be MADLY DEEPLY in love with when I was 14 and in high school). 25 has me feeling pretty much the same, and it just goes to show that sometimes, our 14 year old hormones know what's up.
12. I took up a yoga practice, and have never been this serious about it or enjoyed it as much as I currently am. I also did my first handstand and am so grateful for the good health and strength my body has.
13. I plotted my own garden, with the help of my sister. It didn't flourish quite like I wanted it to, but we learned a lot of good lessons, and I'm excited to see our progress next year.
14. I got another cat (I know, I know...).
15. I definitely did not make 24 dishes with my Kitchen Aid, but I have kept active in the kitchen. Cake decorating classes, yeast-free pizzas, panchetta-wrapped grilled scallops, and gazpacho were among my favorites. 
16. I went camping. Twice. And my dad wasn't there to keep the boogie monster away. So that was big.
17. I swam a lot this summer. Swimming is one of those things that, although I may not be fast, I feel so much more comfortable in the water than I do on a track or treadmill. Also, nothing beats summer swimming at Ashworth Pool.
18. Speaking of swimming, I relived my glory days with about 12 other lovely gals as we synchronized swam at our alma mater's synchronized swimming pageant.We were so bad. 6 years of college and post-college diets does scary things to your stamina.
19. I have started to get more involved in my community. Volunteering for local charities or events, joining a CSA, and attending professional groups have all been ways to help me feel connected to the outside world in a real way.
20. And for the record, I did actually go to a film festival. And to a trivia night! I had lower expectations for the former, higher expectations for the latter, but both were fulfilling in very different ways.
21. I co-hosted my first ever "grown-up" holiday party with one of my best friends. All of our treats and drinks were consumed, and I fell asleep in my dress clothes. Successful, I'd say.
22. That guy I mentioned in #10 and I survived our first couples trip to IKEA. That's like really huge for both of us.
22. I saw lots of great music, including some of my favorites and others that were completely new to me. After seeing a certain band in Paris and then Chicago years back, I saw them at an outdoor festival this summer in Des Moines. It's fun to think about how you've evolved over the course of certain landmarks.
23. I got to enjoy my younger sister as an adult. We hadn't lived in the same city for a very long time, and the 3 months that I got to spend seeing her regularly, going out, laying around, having dinner was so much fun. It was one of the reasons why I moved home, and I'm really grateful for those memories.
24. I went to my first Meet-Up and finally joined a book club. Yeesh, that took long enough.


The past year was filled with moments of greatness, defeat, and just plain old mediocrity. And I loved it. Thinking back, it wasn't the highs and lows that stick out, it was the mediums that make me proud of the year I lived. A year that is filled with intent and subsequent relief that it all worked out lent greatly to my ability of letting go.


Letting go of expectations, of grudges, of anticipation, of resentment, of stress, of want, of needing will continue to be my life's greatest work. I'm excited for 25, what it might bring me. I'm also really glad that 24 is behind me. Over with, locked away to the archives. It was good, but each one gets better, you know?

And as always, thanks for reading. I'll get you back one of these days.