Clearing the Air

I pride myself on a lot of things that probably don't deserve any pride. Eat a bag of barbeque kettle chips for dinner? Uh yea, I can do that, no prob. Wake up at 6 am after going to bed 4 hours earlier following a night filled with too many libations? Easy. Wear the same pair of jeans 5 days in a row and assume no one has noticed? Got it.

And then there is, what Amanda and I recently termed, the art of "clearning." We're both really freaking good at it.

• I can clear a table in 2 minutes flat. Top-shelf service for any of my guests.
• I can clear my computer screen at work so as to hide (nonchalantly of course) the Pinteresting and Facebook stalking (ok, usually it's just a lot of me looking at pictures of myself) that I'm probably partaking in.
  
• I can clear a room pretty easily. My top ammo of choice is a bad joke, or better, a bad joke that I can't tell because I'm laughing so hard at it in my head.
• I find great pleasure in clearing the dance floor. All this requires is starting to sing to the song, clearly botching the words, and doing my really cool dip thing that I do (and by the way, to all my "friends" out there, I'm still waiting for you guys to pick up this move.)
• I can clear a party pretty well too. In high school, it was with methods that, today, I find a bit too obvious (barfing, passing out, otherwise shaming my family). Now, I'm a bit more covert, and it's a lot more fun (taking the last beer, raiding the host's refrigerator inciting fear in everyone that they will get caught, dancing, completely losing track of time to the point that no, I haven't cleared a party, it's just that everyone was smart enough to go home).

Again, I realize that these aren't exactly "skills," in fact, they probably aren't even "skillz." But, my 24th birthday is about 6 weeks away and I'm quickly realizing that I may have to hone these skills (and maybe just scrap them all together) if I want to make any sort of headway personal development over  the next 365 days of my life.